Sunday, November 25, 2007

FedEx/Kinko's Employees: Intransigent, Half-Witted, or Just Toying with Me?

OK, so I needed to get a document notarized for my never-ending lawsuit in Texas. After a couple of fruitless searches on Yahoo Yellow Pages, I looked, in an antediluvian fashion, in the physical yellow pages. It stated that the nearly two dozen listed FedEx/Kinko's locations (including the one by me on 78th and Lex) had notaries. Just to be sure, I called them and spoke to Gwen and asked if they had a notary on the premises. "Yes we do," she replied. As it appears, I was foolish to take her at face value. I went there and expressed my interest in a notary's services with the implicit and concomitant intention of paying for same. "We ain't got a notary here. You gotta go across the street to the optometrist." Huh? On a scale of one to non sequitur, that's like a 9.8. I informed her that Gwen had assured me that there was a notary on the premises. "Well, not here. We got a notary, but he across the street." I have to admire the mixture of scorn, condescension, and exasperation with which she was able to imbue her answer.

It reminded me of that scene in one of the Pink Panther movies, when Peter Sellers asks an innkeeper, upon seeing a dog at the check-in desk, whether his dog bites. The innkeeper replies in the negative. Peter Sellers goes to check in and is promptly bitten. "I thought you said your dog does not bite," he moans, clutching his ankle. "That is not my dog," rejoins the innkeeper.

In any case, FedEx/Kinko's (at least that one) is dead to me.

And a related incident from my friend Selene:

A friend went into a long-established popular deli/bakery for a sandwich. Several female employees stood about, basically ignoring him. Finally he said, "Does any of you work here?" After a bit of a silence, one of the women pointed with her thumb to another woman and said laconically, "She do."

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